The Science of Silence: When Saying “Sorry” Backfires

It’s a golden rule of customer service: The customer is always right, and if you make a mistake, you apologize. But for Mason R. Jenkins, a clinical associate professor of marketing at the Belk College of Business, the truth is more complicated.

In his latest research, published in the Journal of Consumer Research, Jenkins and his colleagues Paul W. Fombelle and Mary Steffel challenged one of the business world’s most deeply held assumptions. Through five experiments, including a large field study with a food delivery company, they found that a well‑intentioned “I’m sorry” can sometimes do more harm than good.

The awareness trap

The team’s research focused on what could be called an awareness trap. Today’s technology allows companies to detect service failures — such as a 10‑minute delivery delay or a brief streaming glitch — before a customer may register it as a problem.

“Most managers assume that apologizing early and often is the best way to build trust,” Jenkins says. “That intuition meshes with why people give apologies. Service providers apologize to signal transparency and take accountability. But our data shows that if a customer isn’t aware of a minor failure, these apologies could lead our negativity bias to take over. In these situations, the apology increases awareness of the failure, and offsets the intended warmth and honesty from the provider.” 

The costs of an apology

The stakes aren’t just theoretical. In the field experiment, Jenkins and his team found that customers who received an apology for a minor delay were less likely to return within 90 days, placed fewer additional orders and spent less overall than customers who received no apology.

In that single study, the instinct to apologize created a revenue gap of more than $65,000.

Navigating a smarter recovery

Jenkins isn’t suggesting that companies become cold or indifferent. Instead, he recommends a smarter service‑recovery strategy. His research outlines key questions for leaders:

• Has the failure actually occurred?  Preemptive apologies for issues that may not happen can lower satisfaction unnecessarily.
• Did the customer complain? If so, an apology is essential and effective and is able to restore perceptions of warmth and honesty.
• Is the failure obvious? Apologies are unlikely to backfire if there is no more room to increase awareness of the failure. Issues such as cancelled flights or significantly late deliveries that will clearly be noticed by the customer warrant apologies. 

Jenkins continues to study the intersection of customer loyalty and consumers’ cognitive processes. His work reminds future business leaders that despite increasing technological advancements in service delivery, effective strategy is required for customer success.

Mason R. Jenkins is a clinical associate professor of marketing. Learn more about his work on his faculty page.